.. when kids today have to go through things like this:

i think its amazing how little i knew of what my family its actually going through right now. i never knew my mom was having such a hard time, and i sure as hell never knew what was up with my dad. but this weekend, i just grew up it seems like…3 years older or something. i dont feel like this kid anymore. i’m not that innocent teen who’s problems consisted of boys and drama throughout high school. i’ve actually had to face a lot of crap, and my “highschool” drama with all my friends, its NOT helping me whatsoever. i guess this weekend i was just taken by surprise. and sometimes i have to realize i have to stop, step back, and actually look at where my family is right now. where are we right now? we’re fucked. im sorry to be so…pesimistic, but seriously, we’re just screwed. it’s to the point where it can only get better from here. god wanted this to happen right? everything is gonna be okay, i know that, but things just need to get better. something needs to make me smile. i’m the sane one in my family and im a 16 year teenage girl, thats NOT RIGHT. the teenager in the family is supposed to be the weirdest of them all and the one who royally screws up on at least a week to week basis. but no….not with the situation at home. funny thing is…i bet almost none of you knew i felt this way. i never tell anything about my family. i can talk about friend issues and what not, things that go on at school, but family its just too darn personal. this is hard. make me smile. help me get out of this.